Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize