:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
