one two three fourrrrnication!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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