and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
