I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
