Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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