My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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