speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
