Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
