how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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