I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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