grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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