you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
