If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
