His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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