guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
