john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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