So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
