You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
