yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
