does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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