Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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