You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
