So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
