white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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