So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
