Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
