The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
