I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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