I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
