You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
