Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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