i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
