Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
