i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize