I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
