Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
