hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
