i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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