oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize