they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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