That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
