we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
