why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
