I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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