I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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