So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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