Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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