He told me they were just razor bumps!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize