I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
