I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
