dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She needs sedatives and a leash
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are all done wearing pants today
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
