I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
