sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
