are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize