he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
