Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
